A post that hurts to write.

 Being a runner has shaped me literally into who I am. When I say this, please know that this a huge understatement and what you are about to read doesn’t always sjust happen to me; it has happened to many of us crazies.

 

I struggled with an eating disorder the early part of my running career. It started out small, but grew to a large problem that basically took over my life. While I’m trying to not to get to sappy about this, I as a person was kind of lost. I was so focused on training and running and eating little of nothing to weigh the mere 79 pounds and a BMI of 14.5 that that was my life. It was dark, and it was almost scary.

For the longest time I didn’t believe, myself, I had an eating problem and back then I wouldn’t even begin to start writing this post. I would deny any allegations and get angry at people who believed I had a problem.. after all, I was winning all of my races and working hard. I was kicking butt but I cry at the things I did to my body. 

 

Thankfully, I pulled myself out by the help of good friends and family. While I even  struggle a lot with disordered eating habits still today and always think to myself “If I just lost 10 pounds I’d be faster”. This may be true, but if I lost any weight I wouldn’t be me anymore, I need that energy for life.

I’ve came to terms that my past mistakes don’t define me and even today, being injured, I’ve realized that being a good friend and a helpful, kind family member is so much important. GOD is my rock. Running is after all of that. While I live, breathe, and eat running, I’d sacfrice anything for those I love.

Beginning today, I’m promising myself that it’s time to embrace who I am and laugh and smile everyday. Working hard and having fun and loving life is a great feeling and it is time to embrace it.

If you or anyone is suffering from an eating disorder or disordered eating, please get professional help, talk to a family member or a friend, or you can even email me if you’d like to talk! I’m always here.

REMEMBER, good things come to good people. God will take care of everything. Work hard. Pray. God’s going to bless you!

Much Love and Happy Running,

Megan